Pulled Pork and Box Cake

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Pulled Pork and Box Cake
Janelle Meraz Hooper

For all the wives who hate football…

   Shelly’s feet hit the floor at six every Sunday morning during football season. She had a lot to do because her husband’s friends always invaded their living room to watch the big game on their new, huge tv screen.

   How she hated that tv. Even when a football game wasn’t on, all she saw when she looked at it was her canceled trip to Italy that she’d saved years for. Roy hadn’t even asked her before spending her vacation money. One day he just went to the big box store to pick up some batteries for the remote control and came home carrying a box big enough to hold an inflatable boat. How dumb was she? She should have known something was up when he went to the warehouse store to buy batteries instead of the drugstore on the corner.

   Then, Seattle got hit with a rainstorm so severe that the game had to be canceled. Shelly fussed and fumed while she put the pork roast in the oven for the pulled pork, iced the beer, and mixed up a box cake. You see, even though the game had been canceled, the men were coming over to watch reruns of past games.

   The night before a game, during dinner, he’d always ask her about the menu. His questions were always the same:

   Do you think that the pork roast is big enough?

   You only bought one cake mix? What if someone doesn’t like chocolate?

   Did you get everyone’s favorite beer?

   Did you get plenty of lemons and limes in case someone wants something harder?

   What about tonic water?

   The subject turned to the costumes and painted faces that showed up at every game on tv. Showing her disgust, she said, “if you ever want a divorce, don’t tell me, just paint your face in your team’s colors and wear a plastic watermelon hat on your head.” Roy was quiet but Shelly was so annoyed she didn’t notice.

   The next day, after the football show was over and his friends were gone, Roy disappeared into his den. Shelly got a big plastic trash bag and began picking up the mess the men had left. A few minutes later, a loud yell came out of the den. Startled, she looked up just in time to see Roy come through the door in the full gameday getup of his favorite team: painted face, a game tee-shirt so short it showed his painted belly button and a watermelon hat.

The funny thing was, when he said he was leaving her, the only question that came to her mind to ask was: “Where did you get a plastic watermelon hat during the height of football season?” She’d read that all the teams had been sold out of souvenir hats for weeks.

  For a divorce “present” Shelly gave Roy the big screen tv. She didn’t want it anyway.

   A few days after that, she got a thank-you card from Roy. Inside was a check large enough to cover a trip to Italy and a note saying it was from the Pulled Pork and Box Cake Gang.

 Maybe they weren’t such bad guys after all…

If you like this story, please share! My thanks, Janelle

The author before a performance of Geronimo, Life on the Reservation at the
Joel Mc Crea Ranch

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My Mom’s Date With Rod Stewart

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https://youtu.be/O-xHOR8_ZSU

(link above)

My Mom’s Date With Rod Stewart
Janelle Meraz Hooper

Years ago, I was visiting my mother in Oklahoma. It was too hot to sleep and we were up late flipping through the TV channels looking for something to watch. One of the shows caught my mother’s eyes instantly.
“Who is that?” (My mom didn’t watch much TV.)
I said, “Just some guy called Rod Stewart. You won’t like him.”
“No, stop!” she said as she grabbed my wrist. Instantly, Mom was hooked. The kid with the bleached, spikey hair didn’t put her off a bit. Mom was almost totally deaf in both ears but she often didn’t bother to turn her hearing aids on. That night, she turned both of them on and put her hand on the top of the TV cabinet so she would feel the music vibrating.

Rod must have sung every song he’d ever recorded and I couldn’t believe Mom’s reaction. We stayed up and watched the entire show. My mom, a Rod Stewart fan! She must have been in her early seventies.

Do you think you know your parents? Think again. I learned something about my mom that night…late on a hot summer’s night, with the crickets singing outside the screen door–and Rod Stewart singing inside…

If you like this story, please share! My Thanks, Janelle

New!
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A little bit about Jean in A One-way Cruise to Africa

 

A One-way cruise to Africa is a cautionary tale of sex trafficking on the internet, written with a light touch, suitable for New Adults (19-29 & up). It has no explicit sex. Suspense/Romance. Buy on Amazon Kindle: https://www.amazon.com/author/janellehooper

_________________________________________________________________

    Jean, Maku’s delusionary procurer in Washington State, knew how to turn sex trafficking into a piece of cake:

When Jean looked out her window and saw a yard full of FBI men…she went into the kitchen and poured a hot cup of coffee and cut herself a big piece of chocolate cake. She had a freezer full of them; they were one of her props. Whenever she needed to look innocent, she slid one of the cakes onto a plate, warmed it in the microwave, and set it on the kitchen counter. It made the whole house smell like home. How could a woman who smelled like chocolate be dangerous? Jean smiled to herself. She was brilliant!

 

Thanks for stopping by! Buy A One-way Cruise to Africa on Amazon Kindle. It’s a good read, I promise

I’m With Johnny Cash

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I’m with Johnny Cash
Janelle Meraz Hooper

I’m not judging all of you who are wearing colorful masks to protect yourself from Covid-19. I get it. Americans are known for their sense of humor during a crisis. We have war humor, political humor, and religious humor. We have jokes about dead cats, dogs that bite, and even deadly snakes crawling around in planes.

So, go for it. Order that mask with Van Gogh’s missing ear on it. The one with the one-fingered Trump salute across the front. The one with your business card on it. And bring out the glitter and the ones with squiggly eyes. Have fun!

But, for this crisis, I just don’t feel it. I don’t think I’ve made one crack about Covid-19 since it emerged. Remember when Johnny Cash came on stage dressed in black when the Vietnam War was at its worse? He vowed to wear nothing but black until the war was over and our boys came home.

That’s the way I feel. My mask is black. Too many people have died. We’ve all lost family members. People are hungry. A lot of us are jobless. Schools are closed. And on and on.

I already have Manolito’s black hat that he wore on High Chaparral. Maybe I’ll wear that with my black mask. And cowboy boots…I need some black ones. I think Johnny would approve.

If you like this, please share!

 

How I find my characters…

How I Find my Characters
Janelle Meraz Hooper

Some of you have asked where I find the unusual characters in my stories. They come from a lifelong habit of people watching! It started when I was a kid. On hot summer nights, when I was growing up in Oklahoma, we often piled into my Aunt Pat’s car, drove downtown, and parked right in the middle of the block.

With my Aunt in the driver’s seat and my mom riding shotgun, my cousin Bob and I would settle in for a night when the sidewalks were filled with Native Americans from several tribes, Mexicans, Lebanese, Germans, black people, and Asians. My aunt and mother knew a lot of people from each group and were on friendly terms with many of them. They often stopped by our car to visit and trade news about the latest powwow coming up, the German Octoberfest, which artists had signed up for the summer art show, and more. So, it shouldn’t be surprising that the seeds of observation were planted in my memory at an early age. Here’s a few ideas:

A Three-Turtle Summer, my first fictional autobiography in the Turtle Trilogy, I got lucky. I came from a large Hispanic family whose members I had adored all my life. They all signed releases thinking I’ve never get a novel started, much less finished!
In my Trilogy, I did change a few names. My Aunt Pat became Pauline. Not for any reason that I can think of. Maybe I was on a power trip! I renamed myself Glory because I didn’t think “Janelle” fit the character I was writing about.

As Brown as I Want, the middle book in my Turtle Trilogy has a lot going on including attempted murders, but once I realized I could write and control the story, I decided that I wanted my mom to (finally!) have a good man, so I added one more character. He ended up taking over the book! I found him at a powwow at the high school in Federal Way, Washington. He was sitting about six seats away and I couldn’t take my eyes off him. He looked like an Apache even though the Native Americans in Washington State were from other tribes. He had a long braid at the back of his head and his neatly pressed navy-blue cotton shirt had an allover design of tiny white arrows. He became my Powwow Pete—if he only knew! I never spoke to him, of course.

Custer & His Naked Ladies, the third novel in my Turtle Trilogy, had a lot of my family members from the first two books, but I needed two new characters, Soap and his mother. I couldn’t see him, but my new Soap drew me from across a drugstore at the mall in Lawton with his rich voice. When I finally found him at the cash register, I could see he was tall for a Comanche. Maybe a Kiowa? No matter. His hair was in a long black braid down his back and his baseball cap was on backwards. He wore his blue and white striped painter’s overalls with a vibrant Hawaiian shirt underneath. To me he looked like a Norman Rockwell painting. On his feet, he wore white, sockless, running shoes. Woot! There he was! Glory’s romantic interest. I needed him because although the first two novels were based upon my life, Custer & His Naked Ladies was fiction. I had already been married for years by the time I wrote Custer & His Naked Ladies. His mom, Maxine, came from a Native American that fed me and my cousin, Bob, fry bread at a powwow once. What a nice woman.

I have a lot of other books and stories, but you get the idea. For more information, follow the link to my Amazon Author page: https://www.amazon.com/author/janellehooper