The Sugar Police

 Janelle Meraz Hooper

The Sugar Police

I’m happy to report that the Sugar Police at my health co-op on South Hill are diligently on the job today. At the snack bar, they refused to sell me a soda with sugar—all offerings were sugar-free but full of artificial sugar additives (I happen to believe artificial sugars aren’t good for me). Upon closer inspection, I noticed 11 (!) pieces of ooey-gooey pastry, 5 or 6 varieties of muffins, and 6 different types of packaged cookies. The man in front of me purchased an iced-mocha. I think I heard him request 2 sugars. They gave it to him. Really? Here’s what’s really funny: at 120 pounds, if it were going to kill me to have 3 or 4 sugared sodas a year wouldn’t it have done it by now? I’m over 73! Please don’t print my name or address as I’m sitting on an Easter basket that has the Mother-of-all chocolate bunnies in it and I don’t want the SP to confiscate it!


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Janelle Meraz Hooper
(Try my books, they’re a good read, I promise!)